The papers have all finally been done. It was such a period alienation in which I had to devote all my energy to collecting previous works and assembling them in another way. In other words, it is plagiarism put in a professional way.
I like writing, but not in a way that has a time limit and word constraint. The Facebook review function excites me to write this review and, if time and energy allow, a series of reviews which chronicles the year of 2013. Though this kind of anniversary, including birthdays, does not mean a lot to me.
I got to know more about the romantic relationships of my classmates and friends this year. It was a topic of gossips and everyone is so excited when they spend hours investigating what means what. Maybe people are evolutionarily evolved to pay all their attention to this particular subject , which is in most cases essential to the continuance of the species.
There were new pairs bounded together by luck or by chance or by love. Though the rate of my secondary schoolmates getting the approval of their loved ones is not that high, some of them did manage to make it. Others were more jealous and anxious than a year before. It seems to many that still being single at 20 is a sign of failure. I myself may share that view. And it becomes an issue of why it is the case. Can it be broken down into a mathematical equation where it is a function of some conditions? What is the meaning of starting a relationship? Is one prepared? Or is there anything conditional? Does one accept casual and playful relationships. These questions are bound to be there for us to discuss, and we did discuss a lot, when one cannot have a partner to experiment with.
Breakups also come with new courtships. I saw friends in their deplorable state when she kept on guessing what the other thought. Frankly, signs are already there before anyone makes an explicit decision. But one just keeps on denying and guessing the other way round. The Chinese saying “observers have a clearer mind” is so wise. From my own biased and unscientific observation, those who had/have a partner mostly have desirable communication skills which allow them to find a new love. That may be one of the rewards they unconsciously receive.
I myself am an idiot on this subject. In a university of such a lot of students, it’s not that hard to find a suitable one, given that one is willing to make the search. But I do not consider myself that ready for it. It’s a complicated subject.
A friend told me a bad example of how one will fail. I don’t know whether it’s real. Y ( a guy because men have one y-chromosome) met X through some activities. They exchanged their Facebook accounts and became friends on it. Y found X so attractive that he couldn’t stop turning her timeline over and over again. Maybe her appearance is exactly the key to the lock that guards Y’s related love hormones which arouse his passion. It was a bitter yet insightful experience. They talked and talked on these virtual machines. One time when X was stopped by some salespeople and was seen by Y, Y wished to stop to wait for her. Y was so nervous that his heart beat as fast as the speed of light. X said she gave Y the flyer the salespeople put to X’s hands as a gift. Y did not take it and was so regretful as it could well have been his only gift. Y finally even could not meet X again, after two painful days on which Y could not receive any response to his request for hanging out. In hindsight, Y couldn’t know X was so attractive to him. And the what Y did was so ridiculous and challenging the baseline of any person since it was too nasty. Y tried to look for new ones but he could not find one as appealing as X.
This little story reminds me that there’s something that is fixed, just as I cannot fly in the sky with my physical constraints. It’s useless to dwell on something one can’t achieve. But it’s easier said than done. It might be better to remain in the status quo. Or I should say I can see any breakthroughs in the future with the way of life I am leading.